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The Raven Program

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The Raven Program

Post by Robert_Russell on Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:56 pm



Once upon a night so clearly, while I web surfed weekend dreary,
Over many a strange and spurious websites of abandoned lore,
While I whistled, nearly singing, suddenly there came a pinging,
As of some one loudly ringing, ringing through my hard drive's snore.
`Some advertisement,' I muttered, `pinging through my hard drive's snore -
Just an ad, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember the address of distant ember,
And how soon I had become a member wrought with duties upon chore.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From the web barren of sorrow - sorrow from things I abhor -
For the rare and blessed moment from the duties I abhor -
Forgotten for evermore.

And the constant ping unbroken chiming in and distracting again
Thrilled me - filled me with eccentric rages never felt before;
So that now, to still the pounding of my fist, I sat still sounding
`'Tis some dumb ad entreating notice that I account for -
Some advertisement entreating notice that I account for; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Certain then my click was mellow; strange new words sang from a fellow,
`Sir,' said he, `or Madam, truly this new product you adore;
But to win you must keep ringing, till you gently hear some singing,
Or we'll just continue pinging, pinging through our advert's door,
And then you must take a survey' - here I clicked upon the door; -
Pure white there, and nothing more.

Deep into that white light peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no surfer ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the white screen gave no token,
So I thought the site was broken as I listened to the snore
As I mumbled, there was nothing murmured back through quiet snore
Just my clicking, nothing more.

Back onto my homepage turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a pinging somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely there is someway to grant silence to this;
Let me see then, what then this is, and this annoyance explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this annoyance explore; -
'Tis a bug and nothing more!'

Upon now my click did stutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
There now stepped a glowing raven like I'd never seen before.
Not one greeting had made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with air that was quite kingly, there he sat upon the floor -
Perched upon my startup menu just above my taskbar floor -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then my interest of his charming turned my frenzy into warming,
By its sternness and behavior and the red glow that it wore,
`Though I know not what you're craven, you,' I said, `are sure no haven.
Grimly staring glowing raven wandering 'round my desktop shore -
Tell me what advert has sent you' and I clicked upon his shore
Quoth the server, `404'

Strange, I marveled, to click this fowl and see discourse so plainly,
Though this still had little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing ads without alternate store -
Bird or beast above the taskbar and without an attached store,
One that replied '404'

But the web site, sitting lonely in the browser, just showed only,
That server, as if made souly for one to find the door.
Nothing further for me to see - I clicked on back, my browser now free -
As I scarcely more than muttered `'Tis still better than before -
Perhaps I think I will keep him, as he's shown nothing before.'
Then the site read, `404'

Startled at the web site broken, my reply was aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it shows here can't simply be its full bore,
Written by unhappy masters whose unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till this site became a chore -
With the duties of this member's melancholy laden chore
Till the site's nevermore.'

But the raven sat there smiling at my sad soul as it's riling,
Quick I wheeled the mouse away in front of bird and taskbar floor;
Then, I sat on the chair thinking, I could feel my hopes were sinking
Problem unto problem, linking to this ominous bird of yore -
Could this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Be causing this '404?'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned so bright my eyes were sore;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
In my hands it was residing, the monitor lighted o'er,
Like the raven was residing within the screen lighting o'er,
Who shall impress nevermore!

Then, methought, the screen grew darker, filtered from an unseen marker
Caused by advertisements which should not be haunting anymore.
`Wretch,' I cried, `I shall yet spite thee - with a keystroke I shall smite thee
Depart - depart and forget you had ever walked here before!'
I quit the program and tried again, but it was just like before.
Quoth the server, `404'

`Raven?' I laughed, `More like Weevil! - Never will I keep your evil! -
Programmed with a distinct pleasure, killing servers I adore!
Challenged, though I am undaunted, with but one click unenchanted -
From my home, leave me unhaunted - you will return to folklore!'
Then I restored the computer - but didn't go to folklore...
Quoth the server, `404'

`Raven!' said I, `You'll not beat me!' as I clicked again without glee,
But the Raven sat there looking out - and it laughed in an uproar.
Still I knew I could defeat it, without power it will acquit,
I pushed the power button lit, but the Raven laughed all the more.
Clasping the cord, I pulled in fit, but the Raven laughed all the more.
Quoth the server, `404'

`Say your prayers, soon you'll be parting, for destruction you are charting!
I will smash the screen you tempted to steal from my computer core!
Leaving black plumes as a token of the fiend you have awoken!
For this I will leave you broken!' and I smashed it on the floor.
And it flashed there with a start, still displaying it on the floor.
Quoth the server, `404'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the monitor I shattered when I threw it on the floor;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the back-light that is streaming throws his form upon the door;
And I sit there in the shadows being stared at from the door
And shall web surf - nevermore!


DISCLAMER: This was written by a friend of mine


Last edited by Robert_Russell on Tue Nov 03, 2009 6:27 am; edited 2 times in total

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Re: The Raven Program

Post by SCK[NU] on Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:01 pm

Oh god I love this poem - and this, too, is awsum XD
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Re: The Raven Program

Post by Robert_Russell on Tue Nov 03, 2009 4:39 am

thank you.
stole it from a friend

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